Random.

A quiz from Hui Ling!: (this is like super long! Zzz)


Choose 21 ppl:


1. Lynette
2. Eileen
3. Zhi Qi
4. Mei See
5. Siew Ching
6. Eugene
7. Yi Zha
8. Mei Rong
9. Sam
10. Deirdre
11. Lilin
12. Hui Zhen
13. Nicole
14. Si Hui
15. Hui Ling
16. Xue Ting
17. Qing Hui
18. Hao Jin
19. Linjian
20. Jason
21. Dr AE

How did you get to meet 7? [Yi Zha]
on the last day of pri 4-we were streamed into the same cls

What would you do if you and 15 never met? [Hui Ling]
No one to share my "world" with me and teach me how to look gd- i would have been uglier than now:(

What will you do if 20 and 1 date? [Jason & Lynette]
i will believe in fate- its simply too unbelievable

Have you ever seen 17 cry? [Qing Hui]
yes

Would 4 and 16 be a good couple? [Mei See & Xue Ting]
Absolutely not!

Do you think 11 is attractive? [Lilin]
Yes. Da jie!!

What's 2's favourite colour? [Eileen]
No idea. she always wear black or purple

When was the last time you talked to 9? [Sam]
8 May 09- in person

What language does 8 speak? [Mei Rong]
Mandarin, English. not sure if she knows dialect..

Who is 13 going out with? [Nicole]
SOMEBODY

What grade is 12 in? [Hui Zhen]
Currently studying in NTU Accountancy, just finished first yr

Would you ever date 17? [Qing Hui]
Nope. Sorry >.< Where does 18 live? [Hao Jin]
Near Lakeside Mrt stn

What's the best thing about 3? [Zhi Qi]
She's my friend! she's a gifted student.

What would you wanna tell to 10 now? [Deirdre]
make me laugh:)

What's the best thing about 20? [Jason]
He's gg to be a Literature teacher.

Have you ever kissed 5? [Siew Ching]
haha, of cos not

What's the best memory you have with 21? [Dr AE]
being brainwashed while sitting in his consultation room

When is the last time you saw 6? [Eugene]
Last last sat- there was no co prac on Vesak day

How is 14 and 12 different? [Hui Zhen & Si Hui]
Different personalities. lol.

Is 19 pretty? [Linjian]
if she is more confident in herself!! Linjian, i want to see u in makeup:)

What is your first impression of 11? [Hui Zhen]
She's so not serious- giggling when we were taking pledge

How did you meet 20? [Jason]
School- first 2 months in CJC

Is 1 your best friend? [Lynette]
Sorry, she's my mei mei^^

Have you seen 18 last month? [Hao Jin]
yup.

When is the last time you saw 16? [Xue Ting]
my techer's departure dinner

Have you been to 5's house? [Siew Ching]
Twice, i think

When is the next time you will see 10? [Deirdre]
Graduation, i suppose?

Are you close to 13? [Nicole]
yes, for sure:)

Have you been to a movie with 4 before? [Mei See]
Once. The Nancy Drew Movie

Have you ever gotten into trouble with 8 before? [Mei Rong]
No, she's really guai.

Would you give 19 a hug? [Linjian]
Yes, if she's ok with it:D

When have you lied to 3? [Zhi Qi]
Don't dare to-she's smart enough to see through it.

Is 16 good at socialising? [Xue Ting]
She's gd but i don't think she likes to?!

Do you know secrets about 9? [Sam]
we know each other too well to keep secrets

Describe a relationship with 12 and 14. [Hui Zhen & Si Hui]
They are both my close friends:).

What's the best thing about your friendship with 9? [Sam]
We are both Aquarian- in a similar world

What's the worst thing about 6? [Eugene]
too narrow minded?

Have you ever had a crush on 12? [Hui Zhen]
Mb, if i'm a guy- would want to have this kind of wife

Does 14 have a bf/gf? [Si Hui]
Yes.

Have you ever wanted to punch 1 in the face? [Lynette]
Why would i want to do that??

Has 21 met your mother? [Dr AE]
No, mb on graduation

How did you get to meet 15? [Hui Ling]
School. More specifically, flag day. -_-

Do you ever physically hurt 3? [Zhi Qi]
we don't fight, we debate.

Do you live close to 7? [Yi Zha]
ya, he lives across the st from me

What's 8's favourite food? [Mei Rong]
Thinks its ice cream

What kind of car does 1 have? [Lynette]
Her dad owns a 7-seater

Have you ever hung out with 9 before? [Sam]
(Why the qn on 9 like the same kind?) YESSSSSSSSSS

If you give $14 000 to 14, what will she/he do? [Si Hui]
She will move hse?!

5 ppl to do this quiz:
Anyone, anybody, somebody, someone, you!
(try it, its fun, makes u think abt ur friends!)

Swine Flu.

shall be a newsreporter to report how the situation is like in Mt E:

everyday, i have to reach the hospital earlier to fill up a form with my particulars and then get a thermal scan or a temperature check.
if i pass the screening, i get a round sticker with today's date.
everyday is a different colour; yellow, orange, green, blue.
Currently collecting it unless it accidentally drops off.><
if i had to run an errand during office hours, i will see for myself the long queues waiting for their "body check".
in my mind i thought, what if someone with mild flu and slight fever who doesn't sneeze in front of them gets through??
its just a safety precaution- to show that we are actually alert and doing smt about the influenza.
WHO says in the news today that we shld always take note of our hygiene.
i agree, esp in a clinic environment.
anyways, moral of the story is to pray hard that carriers doesn't come into our territory.
wishing everyone gd health!:)

P.S. don't step into hospital premises if u are sick; u are quarrantined for sure.:(

No off days:(

worked twice at my part time place.
i work weekly- every sun, full shift
Retail shop: The Lens men @ Compass point.
(not jus eyecare. we care)
had supper with them.
Met some of the ppl from parkway...freddy, poon, can't rmb anymore.
(enlighten me, ling!)
they were chitchatting and the conclusion i derived is:
clinic is really different from retail and so is adult life.
jus happy to live in my la-la land for now:)
- not upset with my retail work but apprehensive about stepping into adult phase.


P.s.seriously don't know how much disc i can offer you, my friends!>< but u can still call on me if u need optical devices and contact lens:)

The 2nd month.

to avoid disappointment, u ppl shld jus read my blog weekly or mb fortnightly...

its the 2nd month since we left school, and the first month since some of us started work.
how does it feel to leave school?
hmm, and to be out in the society at this tender age?

memories of school keeps flooding back,
there was not a day which i was not wondering if i was on holilday, away from school.
i didn't like school so much, its just that a student has more time on his hands, flexibility to choose whether to attend class.

hard to meet ppl nowadays with my unpredictable knock off timing.
had my friends wait for an hr or more for me once:(
so don't feel rejected if i don't want to got out with u after work; i don't want to make ppl wait for me.

fortunately, i managed to meet up with my schmates for a farewell dinner for my lecturer who's gg to Australia to study Phd.
there's always a sense of nostagia when i meet up with them; felt at ease just like the good old days.
Observing the gap and changes amongst us:
the taste becomes different, the topics become harder to understand, the hangouts and desires draw a line between us...hopefully we still have a common topic years from now.:)

when we dispersed, i felt detached; as if somthing is missing from me. hate that kind of feeling; like the heart listens to the brain no more.

miss the old times and the carefree-ness.

STOP Emo-ing and get back to ur report, Ms Quah!!!

pls be reassured,
i got nice workmates, treat my work place like my second home:
we live in a 4 room flat; visual function room, Visual field room, Consultation room.
living room is the reception area in the clinic.
my family; father (DR), mother (receptionist) and an older brother (my optometry senior).
Address: Blk Mt E medical centre, #07-04
so we lived under one roof harmoniously or happily ever after...

Stereotypical.

ppl judge, no doubt abt that.
ever since i started out work i hav to constantly remind myself not to do so.
some of the things that made my specs "fall off":

a dr who looks like a criminal (dark and foreboding)
a poorly dressed bangladesh who is the wife of a the director/CEO of a bank company.
a lady who is simply dressed but is the wife of the founder of LG?
How abt a caucasian who used to be a stuntman in hollywood? (he's the owner of a sugar plantation 2 times the size of spore- i told him to draw 2 dots on the map =X)?

how do u differentiate them from the rest of the population?
they are all ppl, so treat them with respects, u'll nvr know if the person in front of u is a billionaire (me!)

What abt??
a doc who owns a toyota camry vs a hawker who owns a mercz??
Ultimately, its what ppl want in life... (quoted from my dear Dr AE)
anyways, all the ppl who come to mt e if they are not rich, they want the best medical treatment. :)

Donuts.

mum bought these after work.
i really don't want to say this, but its so fattening.:(
sgw?!

Brownie.

this is the soft toy i'm supposed to bring on my m'sia trip.

KT stamps!

bought this from post office.
i spent a fortune on them, time to show off:)



is purple the new trend?
sry, but i jus can't have it the right way.



here's how the horoscopes stamps look like.
whats the best combi, my favoirite character and my pastime:)

the goldfishes.

we were watching ponyo and then i talked abt my brother's goldfish.
here they are!! my dad feeds them when my bro is in army.
goldfishes are boring?
i used to feed them but they only acknowledge the food and not the person, so i think they are superficial creatures with stm and i stopped feeding them.:(
i lived with them everyday until one day my uncle, an avid pet fish breeder came and my mum told him the fishes has grown.
this is the prove:




see, they are looking at u. say hi:)

Working life.

everyone is like curious how my work had been so far...
still adapting to waking up this early, like 8am class?
still trying to get into the workflow...
still getting brainwash by my boss...
still struggling to maintain a work life balance:)

everyone envy that i have weekends off and go back home early.
yes, i do appreciate that cos i still feel like a student.

no doubt i have the desire to go out while working. i acty missed my friends! (shall not reveal who keeps flashing back in my mind in case ppl get jealous =P) no matter how much i want to stay out aft work, working drains my energy and i jus can't wait to go home and slack.

anyways, starting out to work is tough cos when patients see u, they doubt ur capability cos u are so young.

so, do rmb to be more patient to the neophytes, k!

watched final destination for the first time on channel 5 ytd.
think its pretty cool to be able to forecast the future with bits of solving mysteries like the nancy drew's detective story. sad ending though.
they say coming soon is the movie that will make ppl not go for horror,i want to watch! wells, its not that i like horror but i like the challenge, mb i'm jus sadistic.><

hope u girls out there adapt and enjoy ur working life!

Promises.

as i grow up, i find it harder to keep to promises.
probably its that u hav more things to do, but it might jus be that u hav a mind of ur own and jus want to break that promise cos u jus feel like it.
u might hav forgotten but the other party have not...
promises are supposed to be sacred, aren't they?
they are words of gold too, right?
but now i simply dislike keeping up to them, cos its

stressful+commitment+effort+time+ppl

no matter what is it, rmb to keep ur promise, don't be like me!

anyways, b4 work commences i hav put up a tag board for every visitor cos no one seems to like to put down their comments:)
sry i if seemed out of sorts these days, been thinking a lot abt work, life...and the most disturbing is to put on make up ><
was traumatized by them when i was a chinese dancer in pri sch.
think i hav really aged.
not a student anymore.
and the ans to y i'm not continuing school is i want to work first.
reasonable?

getaway to M'sia!

just got back and felt like blogging aft this long hiatus:)
today is the last day to slack!
so i'm gg out soon!
so busy with filling in my schedule- no wonder i'm always so stressed up><
will upload pics later.
scenery was nice, their hses were nice and big, their families were hospitable, we ate super a lot...
will abstain from seafood and chicken from today onwards!
and biscuits when i finish those that i have bought. :(
do i sound like i'm gg to be a vegetarian? lol.
anyways, will be cont'd!^^

Dusty.

sry i was kept busy with so much stuff.

bascially i was trying to recuperate my energy for my next trip which is tmr,
practice for my perf ytd,
pack away all the stuff i hav bought
give away the stuff i bought,
upload a lot of pics on facebook,
meet some friends,
do some hsework,
and forgot to blog:)

gg on a short trip to m'sia b4 i will start work at mt e hospital.
see how i will maintain this blog then.
this is not farewell, so don't wry! ^^
will be back in spore on thurs.
bye!

back:)

yeap, i'm back in my brother's room using the com to do my "duties".

taiwan trip was like a bash, and i do think travelling is stressful no matter how relaxed u are. jus like how shopping can take ur mind away for that whole duration.
so i'll give a brief update on how my 11 days in tw was like:

WEATHER
weather was rainy and cold, i feel like i'm in a toaster oven now:(
it was one of the happiest time in my life, to not hav any sweat at all the whole day.
u don't feel u are dirty cos of the not humid weather.
we didn't even wash our clothes cos u know it won't dry up in that weather.

PEOPLE
the people there are generally more friendly than us. they are more service oriented and the welcome when u enter their shop is like heard everywhere, not only in giordano. u don't think they are intimidating when they say it. they are so attentive to the customer's needs that they even make u feel bad if u don't buy anything. i hav to substiante
with reasons why i don't want to buy so as to make myself feel less gulity for not buying.><
they are more initiative, like they clear their own plates. there, u hav to rmb to clear up before u go, not remember not to clear up after urself.

FOOD
its bascially a wide variety of chinese cuisine there. from dumplings to steamboat and many kinds of animal stuff like organs and pig's blood cube. they eat all kinds of things i guess. the food there is nice, i nvr thought i will be so in love with oriental food. missed my mum's cooking as well:)

TRANSPORT
they hav all kinds of modes of transport, from old style choo choo train, buses, transit train, bullet train... i think u can't find any other modes of transport they don't hav it there.

TOILET
in the capital, then will u see toilet bowls for sitting on. in other places squatting toilet bowls rules. this hoilday was like a training for me to aim accurately. but their squats are designed in such a way that that there is minumum spillage.

ACCOMODATION
during the 11 days we moved to different places. not sure how they call it in english but its hostels and not hotels. quite homely for one. but they hav more varieties than motels and hotels we have here.

it was really an eyeopener to see how chinese in other places live. ^^

the most interesting experience i had overseas was gg into a uni to eat in the sch canteen. we felt like we are intruders but other than that we thought it was cool to see their culture.

the most breathtaking experience was seeing the clouds, standing on the mountains and feeling the air.

the most disgusting thing was the toilet at tamshui:(

the nicest food is their bread there. how different? its the texture and the fragrance.

the most fun thing is venturing into every 24 hrs convenience shop. they hav so many things! not jus f&b and daily neccesities.

the cheapest thing is their dumpings and baos. u can eat like a whole long with 11 pieces for only abt 5 dollars.

the scariest thing was the screaming condor ride. its lower than bungee so i don't know why i'm scared.

the highest thing is their taipei 101. nth much to comment since manmade strutural buildings can be as nice and as tall as they want it when humans use their brains.

the most popular thing is their smelly beancurd. u see them and smell them everywhere that u will jus get used to the smell.

the thing i dislike most is the rain. it gets really chilly and gloomy and sleepy with the cold weather. not the ideal weather for activities i will say.

finally, the best thing was living and spending time with the 6 of them during the trip. though we squeezed like nobody's business, suffocated under each others' breath, me and po being laughed at, being impatient with each other like we do at home... (so much bad things to talk abt u girls! lol =p) we enjoyed each other's presence and i thank everyone for letting me be in this trip.
what a better way to end this trip? to get a keychain with hellokitty that says everlasting friendship from hui and ling.

its not about where we go but untimately its abt how we endured with each other during the journey.

Taiwan!

taiwan is our destination!
SQ 878 1025 T3 1mar

will be back in 11 march.
hopefully we'll all be able to fulfill our expectations this no stress hols!

these few posts shld be able to last 11 days of missing me :P
read carefully, read more than once!
pardon my grammar and shortforms cos i really got to pack my luggage.

for my friends in uni:
study hard n jia you for exams!!!

for my sch mates:
happy hols or have a meaningful atttachment.

for my pri sch mates:
we'll play bridge when i come back and we'll snack on sun biscuits.

for my co mates:
all the best for perf! i'll join ur back in practise on 14 and 15 march.

lastly, for my travel mates:
are ur ready? ^^

wait for me!!!

graduation! (3)

out of my own will:

For the helpful ones:

I rmb her as someone impatient cos she is super particular abt speed. I know she is smart for the way she carried out our experiments so conscientiously. If not for her, the lab would probably be burned by now with my carelessness. She is none other than my long term partner, I see her everywhere. Though we weren’t close with our partnership I was glad she was in my class and she was my partner. She compliments me well. :) I will rmb the 2nd last day of clinic when she sat in my room and talked to me for an hr. it was the first time we talked together for so long though we knew each other from the start.

I rmb her as a vase cos she is pretty and I don’t know her well at that time. It was a blessing to have her in my final year project group. Trust me, her efficiency is superb. I wonder how she does it. If she was the leader mb the project won’t be so screwed up. Glad to have her fighting alongside with me and deir in this tough battle. And I take back my words that she is a vase. :)

I nvr knew much abt her her except for her interests and recreations. She is well known in class as ms gold and no one else deserves the name more than she does. She was in my gems class twice and we were nonetheless impressed by her results. Now I know her better thru alpha and I hope to get to know all 3 of them better but time has no allowance for regrets.

thank you class for leaving me with so much memories and keepsakes. its time to put a full stop but all of us has dropped our pens cos we don't want to end this...

cheers for friendships, anyone?!

graduation! (2)

By ling’s demand:

For the most impt people in my sch life:

She was the first person I met in cls, (I met ya lun in the first day of orientation). Then, I was behaving the same as I behave now, joking arnd but her face didn’t smile a single bit. I nvr talked to her again for the first sem of year 1 cos I tht she can’t tolerate clowns like me!

I still rmb her for her abrupt rudeness and absolute inpunctuality (there’s no such word btw). She hasn’t changed a bit in that sense, though I find myself becoming more like her >< - going more into her world and finding my true identity there.

I rmb the first time I saw her was in the sci lab and she was sitting beside me… I dropped my pen but I was so afraid of saying “excuse me, can u help me pick it up?” cos she look so fierce. I waited till the debrief ended and she moved away before I picked the pen up.

I rmb ppl telling me that she and I look alike cos we both had long hair tied in a ponytail with no fringe. Mb the amk ppl hav the same traits! Lol, but it was certainly nice having a tong xiang in class cos I can talk to her all abt it when I miss my hometown.

I rmb her as a princess cos of the way she dolls up herself. Pink! She was wondering why there’s such a person in the world who can talk non stop. I was blabbering to her the whole of the train ride though I hav no clue what I told her.

I can’t rmb how I got to know her? Think its because she is always the first one to reach the dover ctrl stn when we meet everyone at the train stn in first year. She reminds me of the old me… so, when I miss the old me, I talk to her. Miss the times mtg everyone at the ctrl and being late tgt, though I hate waiting for ppl.

I rmb saying that she is withdrawing from the course cos she didn’t turn up for sch in the first week. Then when she appeared, she introduced herself:” I make ppl laugh and they are always very happy with me arnd” (something like that, correct me if u want) then, I was thinking to myself, how can a person be so ego. It turns out that I can’t agree more to that statement. Lol.

I rmb her as my secret pal, cos of the way we communicate thru letters even though we see each other during lectures. I first wrote to her cos she commented that my handwriting was nice during jap cls. It sparked off f’ships and opened the door between me and her classmates.

From The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch:

I never made it to the NFL (National Football League)

My romance with football started when my dad dragged me, kicking and screaming, to join a league. I had no desire to be there. I was naturally wimpy, and the smallest kid by far. Fear turned to awe when I met my coach, Jim Graham, a hulking, six-foot-four wall-of-a-guy. He had been a line-backer at Penn State, and was seriously old-school. I mean really old school; like he thought the forward pass was a trick play.

On the first day of practice, we were all scared to death. Plus he hadn’t brought along any footballs. One kid finally spoke up for all of us. “Excuse me, coach. There are no footballs.”

And Coach Graham responded. “We don’t need any footballs.”

There was a silence while we thought about that…

“How many men are on the football field at a time?” he asked us.

Eleven on a team, we answered. So that makes twenty-two.
“And how amny people are touching the football at any given time?”

One of them.

“Right!” he said. “So we’re going to work on what those other twenty-one guys are doing.”

Fundamentals. That was a great goft Coach Graham gave us. Fundamentals, fundamentals, fundamentals. As a college professor, I’ve seen this as one lesson so many kids ignore, always to their detriment: You’ve got to get the fundamentals down otherwise, because otherwise the fancy stuff is not going to work.

***

Coach Graham used to ride me hard. I remember one practice in particular. “You’re doing it all wrong, Pausch. Go back! Do it again!” I tried to do what he wanted. It wasn’t enough. “You owe me, Pausch! You’re doing push-ups after practice.”

When I was finally dismissed, one of the assistant coaches came over to reassure me. “Coach Graham rode you pretty hard, didn’t he?” he said.

I could barely muster a “yeah.”

“That’s a good thing,” the assistant told me. “When you’re screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they’ve given up on you.”

That lesson stuck with me my whole entire life. When you see yourself doing something badly and nobody’s bothering to tell you anymore, that’s a bad place to be. You may not want to hear it, but your critics are often the ones telling you they still love you and care about you, and want to make you better.

There’s a lot of talk these days about giving children self-esteem. It’s not something you can give; it’s something they have to build. Coach Graham worked in a no-coddling zone. Self-esteem? He knew there was really only one way to teach kids how to develop it: you give them something they can’t do, they work hard until they find they can do it, and you just keep repeating the process.

When Coach Graham first got hold of me, I was this wimpy kid with no skills, no physical strength, and no conditioning. But he made me realize that if I work hard enough, there will be things I can do tomorrow that I can’t do today.
Even now, having just turned forty-seven, I can give you a three point stance that any NFL lineman would be proud of.

I realize that, these days, a guy like Coach Graham might get thrown out of a sports league. He’d be too tough. Parents would complain.

I remember one game when our team was playing terribly. At half time, in our rush for water, we almost knocked over the water bucket. Coach Graham was livid: “Jeez! That’s the most I have seen you boys move since this game started!” We were eleven years old, just standing there, afraid he’d pick us up one by one and break us with his bare hands. “Water?” he barked. “You boys want water?” He lifted the bucket and dumped all the water on the ground.

We watched him walk away and hear him mutter to an assistant coach:” You can give water to the first-string defense. They played OK.”

Now let me be clear: Coach Graham would never endanger any kid. One reason he worked so hard on conditioning was he knew it reduces injuries. However, it was a chilly day, we’d all had access t water during the first half, and the dash to the water bucket was more about us being a bunch of brats than needing hydration.

Even so, if that kind of incident happened today, parents on the sidelines would be pulling out their cell phones to call the league commissioner, or maybe their lawyer.

It saddens me that many kids today are so coddled. I think back to how I felt during halftime rant. Yes, I was thirsty. But more than that, I felt humiliated. We had all let down Coach Graham, and he let us know t in a way we’d never forget. He was right. We had shown more energy at the water bucket than we had in the damn game. And getting chewed out by him meant something to us. During the second half, we went back on the field, and gave it our all.

I haven’t seen Coach Graham since I was a teen, but he just keeps showing up in my head, forcing me to work harder whenever I feel like quitting, forcing me to be better. He gave me a feedback loop for life.

When we send our kids to play organized sports- football, soccer, swimming, whatever- for most of us, it’s not because we’re desperate for them to learn the intricacies of the sport.

What we really want them to learn is far more important: teamwork, perseverance, sportsmanship, the value of hard work, an ability to deal with adversity. This kind od indirect learning is what some of us like to call a “head fake”.

There are two kinds of head fakes, the first is literal. On a football field, a player will move his head one way so you’ll think he’s going in that direction. Then he goes the opposite way. It’s like a magician using misdirection. Coach Graham used to tell us to watch a person’s waist. “Where his belly button goes, his body goes,” he’d say.

The second kind of head fake is the really important one- the one that teaches people things they don’t realize they’re learning until well into the process. If you’re a head fake specialist, your hidden objective is to get them to learn something you want them to learn.

This kind of head-fake learning is absolutely vital. And Coach Graham was the master.

graduation! (1)

uiwinH

it was while reading my autograph book that I feel that I have graduated.
This time, there were no tears, I was smiling, smiling cos I shared so much beautiful memories with them.

I remember:
The hui min who chewed her wholemeal bread so slowly.
Who always greets ppl with a broad smile
Who is always being laughed at ><

Recap…
Time for me to recount and give ppl their autographs
First up is the minority ppl in cls.

I rmb the guy who i didn’t want to talk to till I found out that he acty knew my pri sch mate. He was the first male clsmate in cls who I spent time alone with as we attended jap cls tgt. I can always rmb how he always complained abt the timing of the class. I can still visualise the times we have spent on the train home. Although I’m always blabbering nonsense, he always looks at me in a serious manner. I’m equally grateful to him as much as I hate him for he made me see another side of things in another perspective but the way he imposed them was too harsh. Harsh to the extent that the stubborn me realize the need to change.

I rmb he was the I don’t know how many guys who approached me on how to chase a girl. The friendship started when he said he will follow me to wherever I want to go, the confidence that I will hav somewhere to bring him. It paused on the day when he said the place we go will be determined by the bus that comes next.

I rmb him as someone who I always laughed at but at the same time admire his confidence. He brought all of us countless happiness on all kinds of occasions. He was the first guy in cls I handmade a bday card cos he said he wanted it.

I rmb him as someone who I had no impression of in yr 1. The first time I spoke to him was during our class’s first chalet. We were sitting by the drain with our bicycles parked beside us while the boys with direction sense hovered over a map. I cannot imagine a guy with no direction sense and neither could I imagine a guy who had absolutely no tolerance of alcohol. Nonetheless he is a loyal friend like no one who enjoys speculating and hav shifty eyes.

I rmb him as the first guy who ventured to join an all girls grp to do project in the whole 3 years. He dirtied his hands from my bicycle on the first cycling trip which I was entirely thankful for. He is the “darkest” person I hav ever known cos he likes black so much.

To Class DOPT02:

Its been a change of life events meeting everyone of you.
I remember how I couldn’t find my classs on the first day of school. How I was the first to begin the series of self introduction. Then, I was shocked that so many people was previously from the cca that I wanted to join when I was in sec sch- band.

I’m not sure how by coincidence I got into a clique nicknamed SHD.
We evolved into SHD100D thereafter.
it was cause 3 little girls find it bored to eat by themselves and soon, we find each other indispensable.
They changed me:
They made me fat, make me feel loved and make me broke. :( Most of all, they taught me how to survive overseas together.

In sec sch, I was a girl who spoke little of her opinions in class. But the boys in class made me shout at them. Used to get so terrified by them that they haunt me in my dreams. I have dreams of them asking me: “have u refilled your bottle today?” They brushed up my cycling skills and chased away my dark clouds. They taught me “how to live in your own world”. They changed how I expressed myself.

The school may not hav imparted the SP core values to us, but we have left each other bountiful friendships, enough to last us a lifetime.
Thank you for sharing a part of 02 with me. I have enjoyed my 3 years tremendously.
A place where laughter is shared and tears shed.

No matter where we go and whatever we do, have faith.

Before I forget ur names:

Ann-marie. Sylvia.
Andrew. Jonathan. Kamen. Ping Han. Eddie.
Aik Leng. Chanel. Sheryl. Deirdre. Ruth.
SHD100D

its vday again!

can't rmb how i spent last yr's vday..
2 yrs back i spent my vday slogging and there was super a lot of couples coming in to eat.
the couple who left the deepest impression in me is the girl who dropped her "invisible bra" in front of me!
lol, my supervisor(male) picked it up and asked, " what is this?"

it was really funny and it'll definintely be more amusing to see me narrating in person. to this day, i still wonder how the girl coped without it. :(
-----

was walking out from the train stn on fri and sold mothers with their children selling roses...extra income to cope with the recession?

my mum's valentine gift for u all:



she made them!!!


thanks crappy deir for ur tulip on msn:)

and boys if u want to be really nice, give all the girls flowers!
i had a male cls mate who bought the whole cls of girls flowers, we tht he was really gentlemanly!

Reconciliation.

as the sch year ends for me and for many others,
shall begin with a sad post b4 all the pics of my sch mates comes flooding in.

do u realise when things come to an end or when ppl are gg to die,
they seek forgiveness, they forgive and then comes acceptance and reconciliation.

its good in the sense that we bury the hatchet and not carry on with the not so favourable memories.
however, don't u think its kind of insincere, cos u "forget" the old things not cos u don't rmb them.

whats done cannot be resolved, forgotten or left undone.
in truth, not many ppl can really forget the things the ppl they hated and the bad things ppl did to them. not jus cos they want to revenge but it has an impact on them, big or small...

i was wondering: does everyone who seek reconciliation gets the perfect ending..
y not? since they are asking acceptance. what is so hard abt it?
its nth easy when it comes to matters of the heart. jus like how do u explain the chemistry between two ppl?

how abt if those ppl who seek reconcilation jus wants acceptance and didn't cared a thing abt why they were rejected in the first place.
these words may sound harsh: they had not learnt from their "mistakes" or they jus think that the mistake belongs to others, cos it was the ppl's fault to reject me.

new year's baby!

proud to be born on the 2nd day of lunar new year!
today marks the end of the new year and i shall recount on the things that happened to me before and aft my bday.
was kept busy since 3rd feb and no time was wasted on my bday exp for sleep..
been a long time since i hav been simultaneously gg for activities during my bday period and cutting so many cakes! when my mum asked me to get myself a bday cake to celebrate at home, i gladly refuse and told her i had enough:)

was a thrilling and "natural bday"...

3rd feb: we went bungee!! my clique presented me with my new titus watch and sat thru the whole ride with me at the singapore riverside.
my long time love: sun moulin's green tea cake

5th: cycling at ubin. still a poor cyclist though they said i "level up!"really loved the natural landscape, so pristine! Alpha cls and dinner thanks to sheryl the gold! it kept our minds thinking abt life...

6th: celebrated with zhen and nic, it pains to see them lugging their "go home " bags. was a simple dinner and we were glued to our seats till they closed. zhen brought me for selegie's tau huay and butterfly fritters. we boarded the last train bound jurong east and she was the first one to see me turn 20.
my all time favourite: cheese cake from secret receipe

7th: to indulge in more naturalistic things, so i was at botanic gardens. funny things was i dislike phototaking but i camwhored with the wings and horns. camwhoring is really not my cup of tea, tired of the posing not of the trekking. 3 cheers for ling's instax n polaroid, xt's videocam and SLR, finally not forgetting my digicam!
cut the cake at shi min's hse, that was my first time visit and gladly shared my cake with the renowned ryu and jerome. went to co prac and was showered with gifts and wishes. at home, my family sang bday songs for me. saw my mum's face gleamed, wonder if she did the same 20 years back. ^^
my long time want: Guanji from Rive Ganache (recommendations from zhen)


8th: i tht i was sick of choc cakes, so buffet lunch at my co to celebrate new year was a gd change but my friends brought in a cake during the prac while i was kept busy tuning the instru. their faces shone under the candlelight, what can i say? the last thing i want to do is to cry in front of them.
my new love: Prima deli's choc truffle?!

i can nvr thank everyone enough.
my family for bringing me up these long 20 years without feeling that i'm nth but a burden and my friends for tolerating every bit of me.
your gifts were nth comparable to the time ur hav spent with me but they are the things i can keep and be constantly reminded of how blessed i am.^^

my wish is to pass on the love.

promise to upload pics when i get my hands off sch stuff aft next week.:)

its been a long time..

5 days seemed like a really long time,
cos its so hard to endure.
it seemed like such a short time,
cos we still hav to hog the com aft cls everyday to finish our report.

glad its all over, temp.:)
two more ppts to go and an important test, then i will be on my way to graduation.

was eating lunch with one of my fyp mate aft submitting the report,
we were like thinking back abt some gd and bad times in sch- there was a tinge of sadness in her tone.
i guess thats not jus all that we will miss when we graduate...
wishin everyone success in the test that determines our graduation.
somehow i hav a feeling we will all leave the sch tgt, cos we can't do without each other.

a big thank you to my generous friends! one who invited a whole gang of us to eat new year lunch, *starts to stuff myself with dumplings* and the other who tht i was there to send an email but i sat behind his laptop for more than 2 hrs and having made him walk me home. ^^

HAPPY CNY!

may everyone has a great year in the year of the ox.

my new year wishes are as follows:

peace, health, prosperity and happiness to everyone.
graduate with flying colours!
find a job and still able to cont'd to go co n calli:)

See u again?!

New year's coming!

like in 2 day's time.
but so many of us are still bugged down by our umpteen assignments.
was planning to go back to chinatown, but looks i don't hav the time till aft new year.

what does going to be 20 mean to me?
it means preparing for adulthood and maturing...
so i shall keep my new year resolutions simple this year, no more fancy and impractical goals.

to be more patient with the ppl arnd me.
spend more time with my family and treasure them.
stop taking pocket money and learn to depend on myself.


----

this is to respond to deir's blog post.
(lazy to tag)
we were taking train, lilin and hj was gg back to m'sia so i took the jurong east train with them. they left at kranji but we had a pretty much talk while waiting for her friends.
we were saying what we will do on the last day of sch.
hj say she will most prob cry, then i say i will be infected too.
so lilin say we will cry tgt. lol.
so we were thinking who will be the most unexpected person to cry.
the girls are out of the picture exp chanel, cos hj says she doesn't cry even when she watch her shows. if the boys cry most prob they are jus sad to leave their gay partners or they are upset abt gg to army more than leaving the class.

no more see u tmr in a mths time unless we are colleagues.
but its truly my fortune to hav met u ppl.
i hav grown changed and learned.
like all the cliches in the serial shows i enjoy,
if i hav another chance in my recarnation, i want to be ur classmate again. :)
my only regret is the xmas cls bbq =X
no see u tmr but we can see u again.

my LG KF350!

got my new phone, and my second phone:)
refer to 9 dec post.
got the new phone on 18 jan, an early bday gift from my bro.
i wanted the pink one. he knew, but got me the white one cos the white one is nicer in his opinion and he thinks white rep purity.
lol, but white phones are so common?!
nonetheless, it was still a dream come true, cos i wasn't even saving for it in the first place.:)

thanks gou for the gift and i enjoyed using it!

smt else to look forward to with the new phone.
this year's new year shopping was such a fluster.

not again?!

caught the flu bug
and the virus bug.

sniffing
and scatching my legs.

i hate bacteria.

will be back soon:)
resting in progress.

Windmills.

was a chinatown a few weeks back, on the 26th of dec.
how it was prospering with life.
the crowd is smt u will awe at on a weekday.
the windmills are one of the novelties of this year's new year,
believed to be able to turn ppl's bad luck into good luck.
i always liked windmills, don't u?
jus cos it keeps turning and turning...

anyways, wondering how me and my clsmates are gg to celebrate cny with so many things on hand. hmm, how come i don't see my friends in the other courses struggling like us? the cons are we don't even hav time to shop for new year clothes. not like i like shopping but it jus seems like smt is lacking if u don't shop for the new year.maybe its an excuse to want a break. we are runnign a marathon. the ending point is the last day of school.
how i wish i hav time to see the windmill turn round and round.:)
is that selfish of me?

~ling recover soon and watch windmills with me:)
~hope the windmill cheers u up!

u hav forgotten our promise, pls rmb to fulfill it.

a quarter sis.

i always wanted a younger sis
and my co friend who is 2 years younger wanted an elder sis cos she only has a sister 4 years younger and an older brother the same age as me.
we decided to xiang ren and we became half a sis to each other.
the other half is as a friend.
her younger sis, who was also my co mate divided the "portions"
and told me "then u are my one quarter sis."
if there's such a thing in the world. :D

i realised i like her more than i used to,
not cos she's my half a sis but cos of her personality.
she's the kind of girl who had the loudest and the craziest kind of laughter.
everyone thinks a girl should behave in a prim and proper way...
i fail to agree, i think there's no problem with her laughing so jovially spreading the laughter and that's the kind of cheerful character u see in no other.

--------------
another lesson from mr sim.
he says we shld not say we want to try to do things.
cos try is a word that gives urself an excuse not to do well.
u mus say u want to do things.
he likes to talk abt da dao li more than i do.
concede defeat to him.

------------------
finally, the much awaited finale of little nyonya.
lessons learnt?
to preserve ur our history and bury the hatchet.
still hav that very sadistic epi in my mind, if u know what i am talking abt.
wished i watched that epi of the culinary and embroidery competiton.
nice ending? i tht it was creative of the editor to twist the story like that though it might not hav satisfied all the viewers craving for the perfect happy ending.
waiting for the viewers review on the news tmr.
well, its all over, or is there a continuation.
sheryl, mus learn how to cook dishes and sew!!

--------------------

ppl of all religions,
pls pray for my friend who contracted dengue during new year celebrations.
wishing her a swift recovery.
ling, be brave k!

鸿

渴望进入他们的世界，
遗憾的是没有进入他们的世界。

我们不是属于不同世界的人，
只是缘分没安排我们进入彼此的世界。

不是闯心者而是路人甲。
一个飘浮不定的影子，没有固定的归宿，
在汪洋寻找能停泊的海港。

早知会孤独，为何当出大费周章去寻找。
只怪我性格太孤僻，
无法融入他人的生活。

但如果时间能倒流，
我还会选择如此。
因为自由价最高。

宁愿学会孤立也不选择依赖。

first post of 2009!!

hey everyone, happy new year!!
hope ur had a great countdown ytd or this morning.
lol, i was so close to achieving the first things i wanted to do this at the first second of 2009. wells i was prepared to go to slp but was jus glued to the television.

how i spend my last day of 2008?
i unraveled the mystery of my home.
5 years without visitors and then invited my friends from pasir ris and boon lay to stare at the data analysis program the whole aftnoon before bringing them arnd amk for tea break or early dinner.

she said, isn't it much better to go out and spend time with ur friends and walk arnd than staying home staring at the screen all by yourself?

will think twice to agree, thats y i didn't give her an ans ytd.:)
happy new year!!!!!

Cheers to the year 2009!!

┴┬┴┬／￣＼＿／￣＼
┬┴┬┴▏　　▏▔▔▔▔＼
┴┬┴／＼　／　　　　　　﹨
┬┴∕　　　　　　　／　　　）
┴┬▏　　　　　　　　●　　▏
┬┴▏　　　　　　　　　　　▔█◤
┴◢██◣　　　　　　 ＼＿＿／
┬█████◣　　　　　　　／　
┴█████████████◣
◢██████████████▆▄
◢██████████████▆▄
█◤◢██◣◥█████████◤＼
◥◢████　████████◤　　 ＼
┴█████　██████◤　　　　　 ﹨
┬│　　　│█████◤　　　　　　　 　▏
┴│　 Happy New Year!
┬∕　　　∕　　　　／▔▔▔＼　　　　 ∕
*∕＿＿_／﹨　　　∕　　　　　 ＼　　／＼

something nice i got from msn.
time to post new year resolutions, everyone?

may everything runs smoothly in the year of 2009.
hav fun squeezing thru the crowd and watching the fireworks for those who are gg for the countdown!
i prefer to watch the clock tick to 0000 tonight on my bed and shout to myself, "time to sleep!"
this is not no life, but enjoy life:)

every new year is a new beginning, but end the last day of 2008 well!
see u ppl in the year 2009!!
peace to the world!

open door concept.

anyone who sleeps in their room at night without shutting the door at home?
in my hse everyone does it.
when i was younger i used to think why there are doors to rooms.
cos in my family no one ever closes the door.
once my bro closed his door, we tht he was sniffing glue inside cos there was a stench when he opened it.
guess what he was doing? dancing on the para para on playstaion.
that was a long time ago.XD
i shut the door when i practise my instru or change nowadays.
to me it is smt insignificant.
hadn't realise how it affects a family's life till a mother told me how her daughter shuts herself in her room.

the door is a barrier,
if u always keep the doors closed at home if its not for the air con then it shows that u are separated from the family.
the door, blocks family members from getting closer to u.

a door, a barrier, a family "traditon".
its gd to hav a open door concept.:)

greed.

the problem with me was i was too greedy for love and affections.
thats why so badly hurt.
too greedy to hav many friends yet i realised in the end maybe there was none i could keep forever.
i guess more than one ppl went thru the same process as me- why is there no one u can turn to when u need someone?
smt its not that they are unwilling to listen but its myself who is unwilling to share.

received my cards and greetings this xmas.
tht my greetings get lesser each year.
used to need a big bag to contain them but now i can jus stuff all in a slightly bigger envelope.
blames myself for not being rmbered.

when ppl say they are missing out in my life,
i think to myself: i hav been missing out in ur life too><

when ppl tell me to remind them if they fade away from my life one day,
i think to myself :why don't u remind me not to fade away from ur life.

as i witness the changes and the increase in distance btwn ppl every year
i wonder to myself why am i so helpless in handling the situation and reducing the gap.

a selfish thing to ponder: why am i affected when its none of my problems.
but truth is ppl's emotions affects the ppl arnd them.

i'm sry if i break down one of this days, its so not me to be emo, but i guess i shld talk it out this year and start next year right. hopefully its jus pms.

i'll disappear from from ur world, cos i'm jus not worthy of it.

Merry Xmas!!

its finally xmas!
before i go for a xmas break, wishing everyone out there a nice and warm xmas this year!
though the weather has not been great still hope everyone's celebrations will run smoothly.
get lots of pressies too!!
may santa fulfill ur wishes!

Love always,
Hui Min:)

6 mths.

6 mths is a long time, for things and environment to change but 6 mths is a short time for ppl to change.

went back to my old working place on fri and realised that the place is still there and my friends hav changed! and my "favourite" colleague got married at 24 with a baby girl:)
was glad to know that they are doing well, most of them had promotions and the food menu changed, cos ppl changed it.
a lot of emotions when i was there.

was hoping they hav shared the joy with me.
was hoping i was with them alll this time.
was wondering why i quitted then.
was thinking of gg back.
was thinking of what happened if i was back.
was thinking thru what they hav told me.
was missing my supervisor.
was missing the laughter and the times with my friends.

all in all that was in the past, i shld jus live the present and ctrl my life.:)
it was part of my past, but my friends still lived in the present and i hav not regretted quitting my job.

那狭窄的走廊

那狭窄的廊 是学校最尴尬的地方。
为什么呢？
那走廊旁是条沟渠，
如果看到不熟或不想打招呼的朋友，
你不可能装成视而不见
也不可能转换路线。
除非你是瞎子，不然那就太明显了。
（念我这科的，怎么可能会是瞎子呢？只可能是心瞎了。。。）
虽说不因个那么在意打不打招呼这些鸡毛蒜皮的小事，
但每当独自走不上那不可能不经过的走廊时，难免会心有余悸。

避不开，躲不开，闪不开。
就是那么的尴尬，那么的无所事从。

人生有时也如此， 不是吗？

CO chalet.

jus came back from my co chalet,
this is the first time i didn't hav chance to take out my cam to snap pictures,
cos i was busy playing the bridge most of the time,
it shld be bridge chalet, not co chalet. lol.
nonetheless i enjoyed being served by my "juniors".
we don't address each other as juniors or seniors.
cos nth ever mattered in our co, not age not family background not where u are from.
to us, what matters the most is ur attitude; u mus love to play music and be young at heart!

thank you for giving me a place where i belong.^^

its hard to be independent despite my desire not to be dependant.

today's dream

no idea why i'm blogging abt dreams like ur but wells.

dreamt about my classmates playing tennis, i didn't know how to play so i wasn't in the picture.
players were: si hui, jonathan, eddie and i can't rmb alr.
there were 6 players.
they keep playing till i woke up.

haha, mb the dream was telling me i need some exercise. lol-.-"

Look here!!!

this is the phone that ling says she will get the white if i get the pink.
what a nice pastel colour.^^
LG KF350

past xmas memories.

yes i like to celebrate xmas,
to me its not abt christ but abt a season filled with love, joy and friendship.
i like the decor along orchard road and remembered posing beside many.
i like to receive xmas cards as a kind of warm greetings, friends don't send chinese new year cards, do we? (mb we'll do that when we are older><)

when i was in pri sch, the age when no one goes out to play aft sch, i hav no friends to celebrate xmas with me.
my family doesn't celebrate it at home too cos we aren;t christians.
so what do i do?

i'll make xmas stockings for each of my soft toys with paper, each one one with their name on it.
mine is a super big one that i'll hang on my window or beside my bed and put my wish inside the sock for the santa to fulfill.
i hav a super small xmas tree that i'll decorate and put on my bedside table.
on that day of xmas, i'll put all my soft toys on my bed and start using my hands and mingle them as if they are all playing and dancing in a xmas party.
i usually plan a programme for them and hav a letter reading session from someone somewhere afar, i claimed.
if no one's at home, i'll on the radio to my favourite fm 93.3.
thats how i spend my xmas, for a few years til i hav real ppl to go out with me on xmas two years back.

my mum tht i needed company and counselling session from a psychology.
my friends tht it was absurd to write letters to my soft toys.
but i nvr felt lonely then.
sometimes u jus need someone there,
the person don't hav to do anything, the presence is enough.

My dream.

everyone's analysing their dreams these days...
mine, i don't think there's a need to analyse, cos basically its the same, its always abt my classmates and my teachers doing smt in sch.

i remembered ytd's!
cos it was raining and i acty slept till 10 plus (like once in a blue moon) so i had time to dream:)

we were in two rooms and one room was full of my classmates and the other was full of the other class's ppl.
the room was like a showcase, well furnished with the sofas, coffee table and such...
we were jus carrying our bags and sitting into the room.
then our teacher announced that there will be many overseas students coming to visit.
there was no toilet in that showcase,so i walked out of the room to some other toilet in another showcase...
then i woke up in the morning thinking i need the toilet.

thats the kind of dreams i usually get, ppl i know in a weird scene. XD

and today at amk hub 2nd storey, i did smt "fantastic" but i nvr want to do it again...

i went into the gents uunknowingly.
did some big business inside thinking why there was a male's voice outside and why the toilet was so empty even though its so crowded outside.
there are like four cubicles in the gents.

i know u ppl mus hav had a lot of questions.
firstly, i didn't notice the urinal bowls in the toilet when i first walked in,
secondly there was nobody in the toilet when i entered
i only realised i stepped into the wrng toilet only when i stepped out of the cubicle and saw a male using the urinal.
fortunately he was facing the wall and no one saw me coming out of the toilet.
when i this i was stunned. quickly, i walked into the ladies and washed my hands.

i admit i hav the habit of gg to the males,
but this is the first time i seriously walked in.
usually my friend behind me will tugged me into the right one or i'll follow them towards the right one, but i wasn't with anyone at the point of entering the toilet
today :(
some history...used to go into the gents when i was in sec sch. my sch was holded in a old sch and we simply stick a female sign outside the males toilet and it became a female toilet! i don't rmb any urinals in that one though.

guess i'll jus hav to be more careful?
but the gents was definitely much more pleasant than the ladies! =X

今年圣诞的故事.

有一对互相爱慕的男女。。。
他们不知到彼此对自己的感觉。

相隔了六年，他们在圣诞聚会相聚。
来聚会的每个人都得带一份礼物在派队上交换。
在聚会上，大家都有说有笑，玩得不亦乐乎。
到了交换礼物的时间，大家围成一个圈子。
女孩就站在男孩对面，希望能得到男孩手中的礼物。
交换礼物的形势是每份礼物都附上一个编号，然后大家抽签决定谁拿那个编号。
结果女生没有抽到男生的那份礼物，
当大家都扯开礼物时，男生买的那份礼物是女生最想要的---一本日记簿。

这是否代表男生和女生无缘呢？

my whereabouts.

a week since i hav been online,
so the last time i blogged was abt a week ago. :)
did ur missed me?
i'm sure u do, thats y u are reading this.
well, time to update everyone, aft such a long time!

had really bad diahorrea last thurs. so bad that i hav to go home b4 sch ends...
had dizzy spells that persisted for like 2 days.
my weekends was like a torture, i tht life was gg to be taken away from me >,<
glad it didn't and sad it didnt.
went to the doc twice over 3 days and finally they decided to refer me to ttsh neurology... think i went bonkers with stress. lol XD
and was busy with my mid term test from mon till today.

went out aft sch to do xmas shopping!!
yes, i'm proud to announce i hav done my share.
runner up aft huizz!!
*round of applause*
aft walking from like 1 to 9...
super tired, and haunted by winnie the pooh, if u go taka u'll know why. :(

and hols started the time i left sch!!!
but look at this:

First Draft Report to supervisor All Students 12th January 2009
Submit project report All Students 30th January 2009
Project presentation All Students 1st Exam Week (16th or/and 17th of Feb)


class mates, grp mates, project mates, we still hav two laps to go!!!!

Look at the time :( :)

woke up early, 2am to do ms lek's ppt.
i finally hav a clue!!! on what i am doing
lol.:)
now its 5.42 on the clock, less than 1 hr to the time i was supposed to wake up for class...
means i'm not gg to hav any sleep exp from last night, which i accidentally went to bed at 9.
9 to 2, at least i slept for 5 hrs?!
do u guys do this?

waiting for the hangover of a "sleepless" night,
it'll drown me of my sorrows cos i hav no residual energy to wry abt anything else.
wish me loads on luck to conc my leftover resources on my activities later^^

indeed sry is smt polite yet hurts.
thats the last thing anyone wants to hear?

u can't be angry cos the person is polite yet, it hurts.

要如何衡量呢？

对感情总是束手无策。
不因为没经过，而因为感情上的事没有对错，没有空平不空平。
感情本来就无法精确衡量。

不去要求别人做选择，
人都有七情六欲。
己所不欲又为何施于别人呢？

最后选择放弃，不是因为不值得，
而是自己不喜欢纠缠。
放弃对大家都好。

我没那么伟大，刻意去成全别人，
是自私的我想先得到解脱。

那段回忆。

或许事过境迁后发生的事和感情会被遗忘，
但事实并非如此。
接受现实或许是最佳的选择。

复原后， 还留下那不可磨灭的疤痕。。。
隐隐作痛的不是身上的伤痛，而是那心寒的刺痛。

Outing.

finally the first officiai cls outing in this year...
we went to the zoo.

it was a beautiful sunday morning, sunny and perfect for a family outing.
so we hang out with our lecturers, ms lek, ms tan, niece + husband, mr konda and family, mr sim and parents...

how can the whole grp walked arnd tgt in the crowded zoo like today?
so we split ways and walk in our cliques.
do u call that bonding as a gathering, well one thing for sure is that we entered the zoo tgt:) lol.

anyway aft being so longwinded, pt is we went to the zoo and everyone jus did what they like without much time spent as a class tgt...only hi n bye when we walked past each other.

i do agree it was fun to be outdoors under the scorching sun aft being indoors most of the time in sch. i did enjoyed the sweat and bath at lilin's hse and had fun reminiscing my time in the zoo as a kid.
there are features that they upgraded like the kidzworld, but the objective of the zoo nvr changes- its abt animals! ^^ somehow the animals, esp the giraffe and the zebra look much prettier than i rmbered! and the kidz playground became like a great pool instead of the past normal playground with sand.

such fond memories of the zoo since childhood...
i think i was pri 3 back then.


so tired nowadays, its not that i;m getting old, its jus that i'm getting drained.
i can't feel my soul, i'm jus an empty body walking arnd lifelessly.

class tee!

was really touched when i saw everyone in cls wearing the cls tee...
well, its been quite some time since we wore a class tee, ever since year 1.
really laughed quite a lot during today's attendance taking when my teacher called our reg no instead of our names, cos the cls jersey has our index no at the back.
then everyone turned to show the teacher the no to prove.


no matter what, i thank everyone, for u are part of the class that i love.:)
and i thank ms dawn for giving us so many ideas.
i think the class will like her more each day.
i like u ms tan!

commentary.

from monday's my paper which i can't agree more abt the white tiger incident:

an animal is an animal, aggravate it and it will do exactly what it does every time.
yes our zoo could do more to enhance the security of its enclosures.
not to keep the animals out but, ironically, to keep the humans out.

it is quite illogical that it has to come to this.

but this is necessary because of one thing that will nvr change.

the nature of the beast may be explainable, but the nature of man is something we can nvr understand.

racing with time.

or am i??

racing to do so many things before term ends, thats explains why i haven't been blogging too...
not that i hav nth to blog but cos i have no time to type and recollect my thts.
thats sounds sad, for someone who enjoys day dreaming so much.
its like somebody shouting in my ear and telling me to wake up this instance.
its the feeling when ms tan looks at me with her big palpebral aperture.
smt it feels like everything is collapsing even though there's no earthquake in any part of the world right now.

really trying to destress admist all this.
i won't hav time to destress unless i learn how to manage my time.
or shld i ask for a break?
follow me: breathe in and breathe out:)

whats the diagnosis?

finally hav time to see the doc cos there's no sch today!
one of the rare days.:)
anyways, aft i spoke to the doc abt my diarrhoea which persisted again,
i told him abt the bruises that doesn;t seem to go away aft weeks.
he probed abt more questions related to the blood but in the end still unable to tell me the diagnosis,
he only told me " if u hav more bruises then pls do come back and inform me."
ther's a feeling that the bruises might be a sign of an underlying systemic problem that i am not aware of...

she lived on.

i watch the tuesday reports every tuesday night.
today's story was abt a woman who was disfigured when she was attacked by an assasin.
unfortunately for her, the assasin was so violent that her hair was pulled out, her lips couldn't even move, her nose bridge broke etc...
when the docs were resucitating her, they told her family that she only had a 30% chance to live.
but she survived the ordeal.

when the nurse unbandaged her, she couldn't believe what she saw in the mirror.
she was really horrified at her looks.
at first she didn't dare to walk out of her hse.
she was so depressed with her looks that she attempted suicide.
finally, she tht thru and slowly begin to accept herself.
she started off small, like going to the market with "such looks" and pretended to be oblivious to the curious stares arnd her.
now she dares to walk down orchard by herself, exercises, dances and gives inspirational talks to the audience in her church on stage .
she recalled on one of her talks, a 20 year old approached her and told her that she herself has commited suicide for 5 times; she thinks the first person to commit suicide shld be her, yet she still lives on strongly.

at the end of the show, there was a caption:
she said if she was able to repeat all over again, she will still prefer her present life. because that incident which caused her so much pain physically and emotionally taught her the purpose and meaning of life.

this story does not only speaks of her strong will to live but also tells us that looks does not give u the self confidence. true self confidence comes from ur inner self, not on ur looks; jus like happiness will not last if it came from external sources.

the tutoring session.

had tuitioning from mr sim.
he talked abt the different aspects of life.
he reiterated the point on my previous blog post.
no one could hav done a better job than him.
what we all took back will impact on our life greatly.
that day when we share cab with him, he got on the cab and asked the driver:

"how are u today".
u shld hav seen our faces. lol.

what i admire abt him most, is the way he interacts with others and the way he gives everyone attention without anyone feeling left out.
and we slowly got used to him 'twitching' his eyes:)

happiness.

being happy does not mean happy things happen to u;
being happy means feeling contented abt the things in ur life.

~don't ask for more in life, u will nvr be happy. treasure what what u hav instead. :)

Diarrhoea

tht i didn't hav time to go to the doc,
so i sat on the toilet seat, thinking hard when it started...
i didn't realise it has been 6 days ><

i hate diarrhoea cos it stinks and i can't eat well!!!
ok, get well soon, hui min!(:

do u know of teck aun chi kit pills??

RGP wearer.

i started wearing rgp lenses.
As most ppl in my course know, rgp lenses is the most uncomfortable thing u shld insert onto ur eye.
it'll be two weeks, if i wear my lenses tmr!
but i seriously do need an aftercare, its still uncomfortable aft adaptation.
how?
mb my tears are really viscous.

one of the side effects of rgp.





i tried my best alr.

cont'd from my barrier post.

Sometimes we put up walls. Not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

but qn is will u let ur barrier be broken down if someone really cares to break it down.
mb that someone who cares is someone who u care for too, but what if its not?
definitely ur barrier is to keep them out in this case.

is there smt as a Scar Barrier or a natural barrier?

definitions:

Scar barrier:
a barrier that is not formed from birth but by the events that hav scarred u, so as to prevent u from other scarring.

Natural barrier:
a barrier that is not formed aft events that scarred u but as ur natural way of getting along with others.

aft thinking over and over umpteen times, i hav finally came out with a conclusion.
there might b such things but i guess the simple aim of a barrier is to keep others out to protect urself.
if u truely feel mutual towards someone, i bet the wall will jus be an invisble wall that u are jus waiting for the other party to cross over.
but if that someone is not who u had really cared for, but she still cared enough to break down ur wall, then u'll get a new friend! its only a matter whether u will let her break down ur barrier.

we formed walls not jus to see who cares enough to break them down, we form walls to wait for the right person who also cared enough to break it down, keeping the wrong ones out.

pls comment actively, will love to hav a second opinion.^^
i hope u hav gotten ur ans.

related posts:

http://daifukudorayaki.blogspot.com/2008_10_01_archive.html (october- an analogy)
http://daifukudorayaki.blogspot.com/2008_08_01_archive.html (august- barriers)

Konayuki

SNOWPOWDER

Season of snow powder always come
Although we are mixed up with a mass of people
we are looking on the same sky
Blown by the wind, and we are chilled by it

I may not know everything about you
Nevertheless, I've found you among 100 million of
people
There's no proof but I'm very serious of it

It's impossible to live in the same time with no single quarrel
If we can't be honest, happiness and sadness are just meaningless
If the snow powder may whiten deep to our heart
Could we both share our loneliness?

I would press my ear near to your heart
And go down deep into the place where I hear that voice and meet you once again

We want to understand each other
It's me who softly brush the surface
Just by tightly gripping your numb and cold hand
We are tied to each other

Snow powder is too fragile
In front of us, keep on leaving stains on the rough asphalt forever

Snow powder doesnot rely on time, moving our heart
Nevertheless, I'd still like to keep on protecting you

If the snow powder may whiten deep to our heart
It will cover both our loneliness and return it to the sky...

~this is my favourite song from one litre of tears.
translation thanks to Anime Lyrics Dot Com.:)

谢谢你.

当我已渐渐对它失去热忱时，
是你再次让我获得丛生。
你的那份诚意和对我不倦的鼓励，
叫醒了已进入昏迷状态的我。
谢谢你不曾放弃过我； 虽然我早已放弃了自己。。。
如果没有你不间断的支持， 相信我或许不可能再把它拾起。

我知道我们追求着同样的目标。
一起加油吧！
一路上有你伴随， 我深信接下来的路途无论多困难，我也不会孤单。

~可惜不是你。

Self-discovery.

the journey of self-discovery is inconvenient.
it takes us from periods of stability and integration to instability and intense growth, back to stability and integration at the next level.
when 2 year olds or teenagers move thru' instability, we consider it normal and say they are being 'difficult'; but when adults do it, we think it is self indulgent and say they are irresponsible.

yet, only by questioning conformity and ruffling a few feathers can we grow into a greater view of ourselves, our work and the world.

from: the ugly duckling goes to work on the fable the ugly duckling.

self discovery is important, yet we shld not withdraw ourselves totally while doing so.

my dkny watch :(

我徘徊着。
犹豫了四个多月。

为什么我总是让自己喜欢的东西如此擦肩而过？
我不是常叮咛别人要去争取自己的幸福吗？
我却那么轻易放手了。

愁的是伤心赎不回对他产生的爱慕之情。
那只不过是个没有生命的物品。


~当我看着他的眼神时，
我知道就算是我也取代不了他对她的牵挂。

From: The ugly duckling goes to work.

We do not succeed in life by having an enviable career;
we succeed by finding where we belong and becoming the person we were meant to be.

jus cos we live and work with people, that does not mean we belong with them;
we belong with those who share or encourage our longing.

jus cos we grow older, does not mean we grow to who we were meant to be.
we grow into our essence only when our false self images die and our true self is born.

stay true to urself and enjoy ur being.

Living.

" i am an artist at living - my work of art is my life."
~SUZUKI

>>a strong desire to run my life myself.

happy bday, lin jian!

wishes came in on time but blog post came in late..
its alr, u will not read this anyways?
ok, its 250 mb for the pics on my side, pls prepare ur thumbies or whatever.



our cls pic 2008!
its a fact that we changed a lot the past two years!

my sub conj haem.

decided to take a pic of it,
yup, i agree that its painless and idiopathic, or mb i sneezed hard.
anyways, it might b due to lack in vit C too, sry andrew for doubting u.

my ugly nails>,<

if u hasn't seen the real things.
my classmates can't wait for me to jus cut them short.



are they really that bad?! =X

day dreaming.

the solitary life with the company fo great minds is the thoughtful life.

yet, this life may become too distanced from the real world-

he's jus an observer.




~from the ugly ducking goes to work.

Angelic Layer

Gd anime for kids.
In a competition, age and size doesn’t matter, cos the small sized hav their way of fighting too.
Was trying to imagine if I had an angel…
I’ll make it look like Hatako-chan!
Misaki, u are gd.
Thr true champion:
friendship comes first, competition comes later.
cares for ur angel.
though u can get hesitant when emotions overwhelms u, u still managed to carry off as the miracle rookie with endless determination.
You are the true strong character.

たのしいです！

this is my favourite character in the anime- hatako-chan!

inspired by Matthew.

doing two consecutive days of screening does help.

how?
cos u know what to expect and what how to handle.

did vision screening for specially abled kids at the rainbow centre.
i was scheduled for two days instead of my other clsmates who had one or none.

what do u usually think abt screeenings?
MEANINGFUL, right.

so these two days it was no exception and i brought home smt more personal.
cos i acty befriended my patients. they are my friends not my patients or subjects.

they gave me more respect than the usual patients i see in clinic even though some of them can't even say thank you.
y does ppl who can think, walk and do whatever they please can't even hold a finger to them?

on the first day i was quite upset to see how ppl can behave in the way some kids do.
when they shout and make noise everyone will turn to look at them, as if they are animals in the zoo stretching.
i tht they had lost their ability to think and ctrl their emotions like what normal human can do.

the kids whom i had the deepest impression today was 3 boys- Shu Hao, Keith and Matthew.

Shu Hao was a kid i gave to andrew to handle cos i was too busy.
he's really cute.
he thinks he's the power ranger.
he takes any toy u give, and he is nice to me than he is to andrew. lol, not that andrew is not popular, but its kinda of like u feel a bond with him.(:
like he'll give the toy his playing to me, instead of trying to stop me frm snatching it?

Keith was the boy under eddie who "treat his thomas and friends story book as his head" (well, it jus means invaluable in ed's terms.)
he doesn't read the book but he just kept holding the book and looking at it.
in the end i did manage to distract him and kept the book away from him, thinking that he will listen to us and do his eye tests but he begin to look for it when he realised its missing.
so in the end we still can't test on him. ><
and his teacher looked unpleased with me.
in a stern tone, and an expressionless face he said,

"can u pls return the book to him."

yes, its a full stop not a qn mark.
sighs, was it wrng to play with him?
i didn't think he even looked at me once, but one thing for sure is he loves his book more than anything else n u wonder, whats so interesting in the book.
that explains why i even bother to snatch it away from him as well.

the last kid- Matthew was my favourite kid of the day.
acty i was supposed to help ping han to capture his attention but in the end i played and talked to him.
he likes to draw and writes (sounds familiar, right XD)
he jus keep doodling on the white paper and draws on this white board.
i don't know how old is he but he knows abt keppel, ikea, imm and some geh poh thing.
what is all that doesn't matter, but do u think the sch taught him that?
he mus hav learnt it out of sch, and it subconsciously went into his subconscious mind.
what touched me most was he spelt his name when i only told him to do so ONCE.
means he does understand when we talk to them.
i heard these kids can sense the tone in ur voice?
so if u want them to listen to u, be cheerful and make friends with them!

but morale of the story is they do understand what ppl are trying to tell them- they jus hav some disability, they are not dumb!!
i hope the public don't cast their eyes on these kids as if they are idiots.
pls respect them like ppl, cos they respect u too.



A picture of Matthew's masterpiece
(note: qing, me, ed and andrew polluted it)

My hall stay.

在外居住是很不一的一件事，
你们知道吗？

以为常和朋友一起过夜能学习独立，不会想家。。。
我错了。

原来，回来的感觉那么的好。
家里能给你的温暖是独一无二的。
会更珍惜的。

~在小雪的鼓励下，我才开始用华文来博客。
希望这能加强你的写作灵感。
永远期待更好的自己！


this is very motivating...
in the room of one of my hall friends:)

School reopens.

Cut hair, pack bag, iron lab coat, rummaged through the wardrobe- enough formal?

Ok, everyone. Are ur ready for sch??
Yes, our last sem of our third year.
Treasure sch life and appreciate each other, cos we hav so little time in front of us.
It’s the end yet it signifies a new start- what does the future holds for us?
Anticipate and find out for urself.
Don’t panic abt ur future, take things in ur own strides like what aya told us. ^^

All the best for sch.:)

其实很多人都知道。。。

有那么一天，我问在班上对我来说最和睦的一群朋友：
‘你们在一起有什么共同点？’
他们犹豫了些许时间， 摇摇头说：
‘没有’
当时的我感到十分的诧异。


原来朋友在一起，并不需要有一样的嗜好。
最重要的是互相忍让和包容。
友谊如此。爱情如此。
要相信爱能战胜一切。

难道你不知道吗？

Snow, snow, snow!

this is amazing right!
well. i guess its only BIG raindrops.

our playground in NTU!

b4 i go and visit tmr...

does this reminds u of the teletubbies playground?
so green!







the below pic is for ling! her zhao pai dong zuo.
we did this on a road.

Self absorbed.

Don’t like to squeeze all my posts in one day, so I typed this in advance on MS.
Am I always in my own world?
Most of my friends will agree, I presume.
I do like to day dream and stone a lot, so I admit it.
I’m really self absorbed.
They told me its gd, cos u are oblivious to the things that are “none of ur business”.
However, I fail to agree- u will still be sad when u come out of ur world and realize how the others is coming to in this race among the humans.

As I grow older, I became more affected by the world n ppl arnd me.
I’m upset but I hav to realize that this is jus part of life and one day I will hav to learn to take things in my own strides.
My emotions, my principles.
For this reason, I cont’d to be captured in my own thoughts, subconsciously and consciously.
Its jus me.

E conclusion

b4 i start w my sec sch adventures, shall write an ending to my childhood years.
from the teachers, i grow with more knowledge and a positive attitude towards learning.
from my friends, i learnt how it feels like to be treasured and hurt.

it was fun having everyone arnd.
we still gather quite frequently in a small grp.
which i was glad abt.
they form most of my card playing gang.
most of us belonged to the same territory- AMK!
Well, life still seems simple for most of us,
exp for one who suicide, another that went to jail and one who married cos of pms.=X

for those who hasn't been coming:
u hav chose to forsake ur friends whom u made when the world is still as innocent as it is. its how u want to choose the friends u want to keep.

cried on graduation when they hav that song.
not cos i'm emotional? but cos the girl(my classmate) in front of me was crying.
i performed on stage that day, so i cried with make up. lol.
did anyone tell u i was frm chinese dance?

those scars i hav in in my childhood will not leave me, like wise i hope my pretty memories for my alma mater will not be forgotten as i grow up- cos it keeps my heart young.

FOND CHILDHOOD MEMORIES. *smiles* ^^

We need a D.

Learnt new card games!!
Hearts and black jack.
i said the card i liked the most is ace of spades, right?
i found the card i hate most- queen of spades.
Its amazing how many kinds of games can be derived frm jus a stack of cards.
How I’m relieved I don’t live in India -Cos u can’t play card games over there.
Card games are part of my socializing life.
Nvr tht I will be so into it, used to think they are only for gamblers.
I know I’m so wrng, my friends.

I realized the game is still fun without u.

blogger.

lots of things i hav done this weekend too...
we discussed, chat, played and bbqed.

how do i want to identify myself as a blogger.
i want my readers to feel updated aft they read abt what i hav done and i hope they can go thru a certain thinking process when they are reading the post?
i want to share my thoughts and experiences with u.
did u feel that it made u think?

been having rashes since i finish packing my room,
wonder if its cos of the bugs and dust i kept in my room. ><
anyways, i hope its not chicken pox.
itching to scratch.

have fun in ur last week of sch hols, my poly friends:)
how fast time flies. fruit files love bananas. lol.

Lilin!!!

happy bday on this beautiful sunday!
really miss u, hope u come back soon, yea?!
though i'm sure u will hav too great a time there to want to come back.
haha, u hav no choice- u hav come back anyways:)
how can i ever thank u enough, da jie!!

oops, i cant't rmb when u are comin back. lol ^^

my dear teachers. (3)

were there teachers in ur life whom really made an impact to ur life, gd or bad?
yes, i had.

Aries:
born on april fool's day, i nvr knew u had such motivation powers.:)
u were the only teacher who we trembled till our hands couldn't write when we knew u were coming to class.
u disliked me on our first meeting and told my form teacher i did not deserved to wear a prefect tie.
u told me u didn't accept late work when i was absent ytd and handed up the pets worksheet to u today.
what more do u ask from me?
is it a sin to be born blur?
u were the one who i hav feared and loved at the same time.
thank u for teaching me english, though i know u will feel that i'm a disgrace aft u hav read my blog.


...:
i was nurtured from young to love chinese.
but i couldn't hav done all this without u; without u instilling the interest for me in my mother tongue.
thank yous for making chinese fun with all ur lively lessons.
to learn a language u cannot blindly teach the vocabulary, u hav to let the student understand, understand what makes up the word and the idiom; like how u will make a student understand how a chicken lays an egg.
a language is more than jus words, its a diversification from the meaning of life.

Untitled.

its been more than a week,
but the tht still perturbs me; the times we hav spent together still whirls in my mind like nvr b4.
u hav been smt i dread and looked forward to for the last months,
so aware of it, so aware of u.
i was relieved that i can finally redeem back my freedom, and there's nth to what i desire.
i was pondering to let go, but i hesistated till u make the decision and broke our promise first.
i so believed that u hold my future, till i doubt it ytd.
i wish to thank u for the many things u hav taught and the chances u hav given to me.
u hav watched my growth and picked me up on the darkest days of my life; when i was still an amateur with absolutely no clues to survival.

The 4 of them. (2)

happy october, everyones!
i shall cont'd my story on this PH.
don't think i was nvr hurt in a friendship, i was.

Aquarius/pisces:
she was the friend who understands me really deep down.
i can jus stand in front of her and the next qn she pops me is what i am thinking abt. amazing, right?!^^
till now i still hav the impression that no one can understand me more than she did.
pity she immigrated to canada when we were in p5.
but the impact she left me lasted now, though it is slowly diminishing...
i'm glad she came into my life.
she taught me what it means to be important in her life, and i learnt how to face betrayal and misunderstanding.
if we had more time, i wished we can go back to be as close as we were in the past.
but what more can i ask for, we alr cleared the black clouds blocking us.
mb that was to prepare me to be independent of her...
i tried to stay in contact with her, and now i jus compromise with a xmas card for her every year.
hopefully she can come back to visit her friends here, u know what, she's not a singaporean.
thanks for letting me know what a friend can mean to me in my life,
i'll treasure my friends like how i shld hav treasured u:)

Leo:
leo girls are scary, don't u think so?
how does it feel like to be close to this person this very min and the next thing u know, she's not talking to u anymore, and not giving u a reason as to why she is avoiding u?
it HURTS, u know...
u scarred my childhood.
for i nvr knew friendhships nvr heals; i still rmb till this very day.
i can nvr face u up to this day.
i wonder y...its not like i hav done u wrong.
i really want to know why u avoided me then, even though it didn't mattered now.

Aries:
thank you for coming into my life, my upper pri life wont't be complete without u.
thanks for being there for me always, esp when she left.
though we are not really close, i realised we are friends forever, definitely.
u gave me hope when i tht the whole world was collapsing on me. ^-^
ur support has brought me this far.

Cancer:
u are the best neighbour i had, then till now.
thank u for being so mature, coming to my rescue when i least realise i need to seek help and giving me solutions to the problems i tht i could nvr solve.
i could nvr thank u enough for the values u hav taught me- how to face my problems with a brave and open heart. C=

An analogy...

copyrighted from XT:) :

when u're lonely, u are like a person in a valley.
now u hav two choices; to climb out or to remain there.

if someone wants to help u walk out of loneliness, that friend is like passing a rope to u to help u climb out of the valley.

however if its not the right person, he or she will not hav to enough strength to pull u out of the valley.
when u drop back into the valley aft u hav climbed halfway, u will sink even deeper.
u might from then on be too sorrowful to attempt to climb out of the valley again.

to be saved out of the valley, u need the right friend to show u hope and sunshine; the person with sufficient strength to sustain.
or u can jolly well cont'd life in the valley and overwhelm yourself in that gloominess.

for ppl waiting to be "saved":
wait patiently for the right person, but don't give up hope yet, k.^^

for ppl trying to save ppl:
don't be too kan chiong, pls check whether u hav enough strength to do so. only when u are confident, u can go ahead.
if not jus stand aside, we don't want a tragedy.